The Way Things Are Now
Posted by: homelessgirl on: July 10, 2009
I’m writing this post now because to be honest I don’t know when or if I am going to be able to write another post again.
Since April the people I have been staying with have been hinting and on a few occasions asked us when we were planning on leaving. We always said soon because I always believed soon. I want to leave just as much as they want me gone. I’m not happy here, yes I am more than grateful for their generosity and kindness but if for one second any one thinks I am happy not having a job and sitting at home all day then they truly have a warped view of life.
One of the schemes they’ve come up with is saying that some people are coming over and it would be fair to give other people the opportunity to stay as well. What they don’t know is that every house I have stayed at has used that plan. And it has worked. What option do I have?
The people are coming over this weekend about three of them and I’ve met them before. I’ve been asked twice this week what my intentions are and all I can say is God is going to help me. And believe me I know how ridiculous that sounds too, but it is all I have.
So I have to leave within 24 hours 48 at the latest and I have no where to go or any idea where else to go to.
I have enough money to stay about two days in hotel which I don’t think I’m going to do. It’s a terrible idea.
I’m about 30 mins drive from my old house and I know I can’t go there last time I did I slept on the street, I don’t even know what I was hoping to find.
So what I’m saying is, if you don’t hear from me for a while its because I have no way to write any more posts my laptop is broken and I don’t have a mobile phone that has high speed internet. If I’m able to get to an internet cafe I’ll try my best with that.
Its been an amazing journey with you guys and I’ve enjoyed it, I never imagined it would last this long. 2 months was what I thought I could handle.
Its been tough I’m not going to lie about that and I just hope that your life works out well and you do something with it, don’t destroy your life.
Goodbye for now.
Yours, Homeless Girl.
Do you know what it feels like to wake up and have no purpose?
Posted by: homelessgirl on: July 7, 2009
I do.
Every single day I’m reminded of how much I have lost. All of us wake up for something, whether to go to work or school, have breakfast or go shopping. We plan on doing something for the day.
Today I woke up like every other day with no plan and no purpose. Nothing to look forward to and nothing to do.
All of me cries out in pain because I know that with each passing hour I am wasting away. Just an empty shell existing. I sometimes ask myself why I’m even alive. I cannot see a single reason as to why I am existing.
Is it to write this pathetic blog? To take my place as a member of my family. So my mother doesn’t have the experience of losing a child?
As I sit there writing this I can’t think or even imagine why I get to be alive and others who have done so much more are dead.
Why do I get extra breaths when my efforts have been nothing but a drop in the ocean. That seems so unfair to me
I don’t even deserve to be alive.
x Homeless Girl.
p.s I’m not planning on killing myself
Some Homeless Blogs that Deserve a Shout Out
Posted by: homelessgirl on: June 19, 2009
You know I really love wordpress I think its the best blogging platform by far.
When I first became homeless I did try to start a blog about it as an ongoing documentation or maybe even a video diary of my experiences and I set it up and everything with blogger. But I had no clue how many hits I was getting because they don’t reveal it. And that’s where my love of wordpress comes in. You can see who’s linking to you and how many hits you get. And I try to interact with those that link me.
If you want to know the first attempt at this blog really sucked. It was terrible. I started out writing as if I was about to be published or something. Dropping extremely complex and diverse words to prove the point that I’m not your typical “homeless” person. No one read it. I learnt a great lesson that I should just be myself. In honesty and in truth. To be as authentic as possible instead of pretending and trying to seem smarter than I am.
Now onto the topic of this post. If you want to read some blogs about being homeless. Some cool activists and generally people who are more awesome than me. Enjoy these delightful treats.
1. http://girlsguidetohomelessness.com/ - This girl is really cool and has some great posts and unlike me she’s actually making something of herself. I don’t think she’s been homeless for very long.
2. http://homelesstales.com/ – If you want all things hobo this is the place to be go. From lots of people’s voices to issues involved.
3. http://thehomelessguy.blogspot.com/ This guy Kevin is an activist for the homeless and he’s been in an out of the streets for quite a while. Check it out.
4. http://homeless.alltop.com/ This is a great resource that archives all things to do with homelessness and more blogs/news that you could hope for.
Anyhow these are just a few of the blogs I check out. Hope you click on them and get varying points of views and understanding on the issues.
Have a great day and I hope you get something from these great people.
By WalnutCreekAlpacas
Would You Like To Help Out?
Posted by: homelessgirl on: June 17, 2009
A few weeks ago a very nice person contacted me offering to sponsor a link on this blog. Originally I was very against earning any time of money from this blog by donations or other things. Because I thought it was being noble and less authenthic. But I figured if its from advertising or sponsorship that is okay. And at the moment I am saving up to pay for a laptop to use on the road as I know I will be out of here soon.
They have paid me well and I’m grateful. So I am asking if you could please click the link and help the client out.
It is underneath the picture of the Rosetta Stone Product at this LINK. ( The Post: Interesting Thing, Human Beings)
Thanks a lot and hope you have a great day.
By ViaMoi
I Sometimes Question My Own Sanity
Posted by: homelessgirl on: June 12, 2009
By Patrick Smith Photography
Now and then every once in a while I get a feeling in the back of my head that makes me think. Maybe I’m insane. Maybe all of this is just My fault and a direct result of my own actions, that I should have done something: sold the house, rented an apartment do this do that. I’ve never denied that there are somethings I could have done to change the outcome of the situation but as they always say hindsight is perfect. When I look back there is no way I could have averted this situation because I always believed that things would get better.
I wonder sometimes if I am insane for believing in God and I get these thoughts that are so poisonous along the lines of ( how can you possible think a God exists let a lone loves you or wants to help you)
So I question whether if this is really happening to me, if my whole point of view is warped that I can’t even see what has really happened.
I don’t know.
But I always find myself going back to this assurance. No matter what has happened or what I’ve been through I’m still here and I’m still alive. It is my job to keep on going because the past has happened.
Thanks for reading and putting up with my ramblings.
Homeless Girl
—————-
Now playing: Matt Gilman and Cory Asbury – Stay Close
via FoxyTunes
The Homeless are Everywhere not Just on The Street.
Posted by: homelessgirl on: June 8, 2009
By Grifondoro
I just saw this article and I know its a bit of a lazy post but guess what I’m lazy. It’s basically about all the hidden homeless people and how because of the economy people are finding themselves homeless.
I might be an optimistic person but I’m not that optimistic about people, people can be horrendous. People are selfish and have no clue how to live.
We claim that this right now, is the peak of human wisdom, we are so damn smart we know everything, people before us were nothing but brutes and fools. All we have is just acquired knowledge not wisdom. Wisdom is being able to apply knowledge effectively.
Do you know that according to the U.N we have enough food on this earth to feed everybody. But yet many die every single day. Because we are greedy, Millions of copies of diet books get sold every year and a child dies because we don’t know how to share. That for me is the saddest thing.
I could go on about the injustice in this world but there isn’t enough paper to write it on. And I know I’ve gone off topic as to what the article talks about but it all leads to the same thing. We are a terrible race and we like to blame others. For God’s sake when will we learn to love.
BRUNSWICK, Maine — The old, run-down trailer in the backcountry near Norridgewock wasn’t much to look at, but it was home.
That was before the landlord died, setting in motion events that left Michelle DeStoop, Bobby Landry and their six children without a place of their own.
After losing their home, they sold their car to a junkyard when they couldn’t afford to have it repaired. Without a car, they couldn’t get around. Low on money, they lost their meager possessions when they couldn’t pay the bill for storage.
Homelessness often means life in soup lines and on city streets, but as a new study commissioned by the state shows, it isn’t confined to cities. It also can be found across rural areas, so concealed that some people are surprised it exists at all, the study finds.
The rest of the article can be found HERE. I highly recommend you read it.
Thanks for taking time out to read this much love.
x
Update
Posted by: homelessgirl on: June 3, 2009
By Katarina2352 This is the best city in the world
Just a quick hashed out post so everyone can know that I’m alive and not dead.
On friday I went to a birthday party of a friend. I did the same thing last year and I’ve always tried my best to attend this because out of every single person I know she is the one person who invites me to anything, (apart from another person) And like I said before I feel like a fraud and I literally have no friends.
I know that is partly my own fault but I wish the people who claimed to know and love me would understand that I can’t commit to things and that I’m basically living on hope.
So the party was nice, I saw some old friends and met some new ones. It was pretty much what you would expect, I was very tired by the end because I had to make a 2 hour journey both ways by train.
Now I’m at a difficult moment in time I am literally inches from leaving here and everything tells me I should be afraid but I’m not. I am living in perfect peace and trust (not denial) because I know something awesome is about to happen to me. This isn’t some kind of crack philosophy about think your way through anything and the universe is in control! This is real and this is true.
Also a bit of a random fact, I’ve gotten 1,000 extra hits just because I put up a photo of a burger. Go figure.
I’m not sure if I say this enough and I really never could.
I started out this blog hoping maybe one person would read it, or just a way to store all my thoughts and save it for a book in the future. I never expected the response I’ve gotten and just the way you guys have been so courteous to me. I know people in my situation don’t get a lot of sympathy and always told to go get a job or something but you guys have been just awesome and kind and not only that but showed your concern and offered me awesome advice. It’s not that I’m lazy to follow them through its just that a lot of them I physically can’t do.
It seems weird to me when I’m called an inspiration or a source of hope because my life is devoid of hope but I think it is the love from God that I get that I’m able to radiate towards others. I can’t take credit for it.
If I’ve managed to help some one out there appreciate their life more or think wow how lucky am I? Then that’s the job done… I just want people to enjoy their lives and be happy I can’t stand suffering and ignorance.
I would love to hear if you’ve learnt anything from my experiences or writings not because I want to blow my own trumpet and say look how good I am but just to know that someone, somewhere in the world is changed or happier because they realised that compared to me their a millionaire.
Thanks again and words could not express my gratitude.
So hopefully a picture will do
p.s I’m very sorry that I haven’t responded to some of the questions people have asked me I keep remembering then forgetting. I will defo try.
Goodnight and stay Awesome!
Two years, 140 weeks, 730 days, 17 520 hours, 1 051 200 minutes.
Posted by: homelessgirl on: May 18, 2009
In every way of measurment that is how long I have been homeless.
Right this minute, right in this hour exactly two years ago. Two men and a woman came into my house, told me I had 30 minutes to remove all my things and that I had to leave. I didn’t cry I didn’t yell or start a commotion. I did what they told me to as they went around measuring my house.
I packed my things as quickly as I can, enough things to last me a week because I thought that’s how long I would be gone.
I left the house and checked into a hotel a mile away and then began this journey.
I’m under a lot of pressure at the moment to leave here but I’m not worried. I have a verifiable hope, a tangible and real faith in God.
I have every reason to feel sorry for myself today or cry and whatever, Instead of having a memorial service for my house, I’m having a joyous day.
I woke up thanking God that I’m still alive, that I have legs that I can eat at any time I want to.
I thanked God that he made himself so real in my life and all I had to do was ask.
I thanked him that I had grown from a lost and misguided child to a grown woman. And that when this over I would take all I learnt with me.
I thanked him for teaching me to depend on him and not on the friends that I now no longer have.
I thank him for everything because without him I am nothing. Without him I am dead.
By WayneKorea
Don’t feel sad for me or sad for yourself, be greatful for what you have and appreciate the little you do then more will be added to you.
Have a great day I know I will.
I Feel Like A Liar
Posted by: homelessgirl on: May 12, 2009
This might sound like a very weird post but I sometimes feel like I am living a double life. I say one thing to people I know and then as I sit back I realise what a joke my life is to my supposed friends and acquaintances.
By Simpologist
The other day I was talking to a very nice person who I know but through different and sad circumstances I can’t be particularly close to them as much as I would because this person is practically my long lost twin, but we talk now and again. We have shared interests especially to do with film. They are also an aspiring screenwriter and we bounce ideas of each other and generally just discuss things. They keep asking me about my university goals because he knows that I want to go there but every time he asks me I have to come up with a stupid lie or reason as to why I haven’t done anything about my life. Why I’m in a constant pause position and I always have to say ( to everyone I know) that I’m taking some time off to think about what I want to do with my life. That is the most uncharacteristic thing about me. I have known what I wanted to do with my life since I was 11. I had a plan: a good plan. And now it has all fallen to pieces. I am not a flake or uncertain about what I want to do in the future. I dream big, I have ambition and now I have no control of my life.
With people I can only ever be vague and mysterious so as not to arouse suspicion or have conversation about myself, I despise talking about the bad aspects of me. For years I’ve learnt how to dodge questions and change the subject, how to reassure people that things will be okay when I have no clue what will happen to me. I used comedy and humour as a way to yell: “Look at me, I’m not hurting, if I am always smiling and laughing that must mean there is nothing wrong with me”
I’m supposed to be someone who prides on morality but feel like a liar and sociopath. The thing I detest most is telling people what is really going on deep down, what has happened to me. That’s why I needed this blog, I had to tell someone because for years I have kept secrets, people think they know me but they don’t. Even to you readers I am not telling you every single detail about what has happened to me in my life. Partly because I don’t know where to start and because I’m scared you’ll be horrified at what you’ll find. Everything I have told you about myself is true but there is still a whole lot more I haven’t told and I have never spoken to anyone about those things.
One day when this is over I hope and thank God in advance that I will be able to.
Thanks for reading and stopping by.
N
I Love This Story
Posted by: homelessgirl on: May 8, 2009
I know I’m not very good at championing the cause for homeless rights. In thta I don’t bring as much attention to the topic as I should but I do try now and again.
It’s just that sometime’s I forget I am homeless and as if I’m not really homeless only living some horrid dream until I wake up again.
click here to check, the rest of it out.
Adorable
He picked out his wedding outfit at a mall in Virginia — his first time ever in one of the sprawling shopping centers that are monuments to consumerism in the suburban landscape across the United States.
During his 14 years living homeless on the streets of Washington, Dante White, 28, never realized that so much opulence existed. Nor had he had much luck in love in his life, having been thrown out of his mother’s home when he was just 14.
Last week, White married Nhiahni Chestnut, 39, a woman whose battles with drugs and alcohol had left her on the streets of the US capital as well. Both are unemployed.
“I was basically living from day to day, trying to survive, and I wound up meeting him,” Chestnut told AFP at the couple’s wedding, held in the tiny chapel of Grace Episcopal Church in Washington’s Georgetown neighborhood.
“Something clicked, the chemistry was there,” said the bride, dressed in a flowing white ensemble with a pink flower.
“We’ve been together ever since. That was nine years ago. He was outside. It kind of clicked because we were in kind of the same situation. We started hanging out with each other, talking,” she said.
The two also frequented a Bible study and meal program run by Grace Episcopal Church on Saturdays. It was there, a few months ago, that White, 28, revealed to a parishioner how much he wished he could afford to marry the woman who had brought light into his life on the streets.
“Everyone at the church feels strongly that you don’t need to have money to get married,” said Margaret Davis.
“In good Grace church congregation fashion, everyone got behind the idea: one person managed flowers, I helped with the wedding rings, one woman made the cake, someone helped with the tux and someone else with the bride’s gown,” she said.
Another churchgoer paid for a two-night honeymoon stay at the Key Bridge Marriott Hotel across the Potomac River in Virginia.
For Pastor John Graham, marrying White and Chestnut was a first, but in many other ways, it was just like marrying any other couple.
And as you know I’m a huge lover of food and cake, so here is a wedding cake to drool over:
I've forgotten where I got this from on flickr so if you are the artist I'm sorry 
- Am I a raging bigot?
- The Way Things Are Now
- Do you know what it feels like to wake up and have no purpose?
- Some Homeless Blogs that Deserve a Shout Out
- Why don't you just get a job?
- How Could A Loving God?
- Two years, 140 weeks, 730 days, 17 520 hours, 1 051 200 minutes.
- The Pursuit of Happiness : Love
- Money, Money, Money
- The Homeless are Everywhere not Just on The Street.
- Starcasm: Hope you can post again soon. We wish you the best. <3, the Starcasm team
- homelessgirl: Drew, wow what can I say your comment is the most detailed I've ever gotten but trust me I am more than happy be to answer them. ( to the best I can)
- Drew: I forgot to tell you to be strong and remain faithful in God! And try to lurk away any dark thoughts because they really can't change anything. I wish
Flickr Photos: Stunning London
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