As all of you who have a word press blog you should know that you can check out the statistics about your blog.

I drop in on mine from time to time to see what’s happening and what posts are the favourite and what not.

I was looking today and it prompted me to write this post.

I noticed that the most popular post on my blog is the Why don’t you just get a job? one and you can see it on the sidebar.  and I thank God I wrote that earlier because I know the kind of abuse from so called “educated” people I would have gotten.  In fact I already have gotten such abuse from a guy I never met who told me I was  ” a lazy bitch… ” I deleted the comment. To call me lazy is illogical if I could clean toilets for £5 an hour I would do it in a heartbeat.  I would do anything I could possibly do and I have tried , to get myself out of this situation. This sick idea that I somehow enjoy my life or am waiting for the government to take pity on me is not only ridiculous but incomprehensible.

People always think that if something is wrong in your life, its your fault… now I take responsibility for not acting quickly enough and for hoping too much but I do not accept any wrong doing or failing because of my own laziness. The whole crisis was too big for me.

No matter how much activism, no matter how much outreach or attempts to change peoples’ thinking  you do, there will still be people in the world who are so hardened in their heart and lack the basic love towards others that they will never understand that sometimes things can happen that are beyond your control, not everyone who is homeless is an addict and I can tell you that no homeless person enjoys their situation or think they are having a fantastic time living like animals.

Especially in this economy when so many people outside of the demographic of what is considered homeless find themselves in impossible situations.

Even though in a previous post I said the things that homelessness has taught me were mostly positive there are some things I have learned that are not so wonderful. I don’t know if its growing up or just the whole situation but I have realised that this world is full of wicked people, even others who you thought you knew, looked up to and adore could really actually resent you.

I’ve become disgusted by human beings, by our lack of love and compassion and if it weren’t for the love of Jesus that he has freely bestowed on me and through no works of my own, I would be a wretched mess.

Now, before you think I’ve lost the plot, I am actually not in a bad mood. It’s just that because my understanding of who God is, is growing I’m able to see what this world is really like and it brings such pain to my heart…but I know that there are good people in this world, but ultimately mankind is selfish.

Also I’m not having a go at you guys, because you’re free to read what you want and I can understand where your coming from but I would just like it for once, for people not to find fault in everything, to look for a hoax in every piece of honesty and to understand even when we can’t comprehend.  Maybe then will this world be a better place.

And onto different things. I’ve been learning french with the Rosetta Stone program and it is mucho great I figured that when this is over I better have some skills and achievements out of it. It’s really good and expensive but let’s just say I acquired it by dubious means   .

Votre budget ne devrait jamais vous obliger à choisir combien de couleurs vous pouvez vous permettre pour imprimer vos cartes de visite personnalisées!

Also I have put on like 10 pounds in weight and I feel horrible but I’m too passive to do anything about it, because honestly it is the least of my worries, and my weight has gone up and down in these last two years, at one stage I was like 7 pounds below my normal weight and now I can barely fit into my jeans. Life huh.

By fonsico

My laptop is dead now and so I’ve lost a lot of important stuff but luckily I managed to back up my precious songs. So I now look forward to dreaming about my future laptop:

Oh macbook, you are so sexy, I love you, I...

So that’s pretty much it for now. I’m looking forward to Easter for obvious reasons and I’m not upset.

Hope you have a good day, much love and appreciation.

N

xxx